Trying to
protect his students’ innocence
he told them
the Ice Age was really just
the Chilly
Age, a period of a million years
when everyone
had to wear sweaters.
And the
Stone Age became the Gravel Age, 5
named after
the long driveways of the time.
The Spanish
Inquisition was nothing more
than an
outbreak of questions such as
“How far is
it from here to Madrid?”
“What do you
call the matador’s hat?” 10
The War of
Roses took place in a garden,
and the
Enola Gay dropped on tiny atom
on Japan.
The children
would leave his classroom
for the
playground to torment the weak 15
and the
smart,
messing up
their hair and breaking their glasses,
while he
gathered up his notes and walked home
past flower
beds and white picket fences,
wondering if
they would believe that soldiers 20
in the Boer
War told long, rambling stories
designed to
make the enemy nod off.
Collins uses irony in the use of humor for the reader but he
also subtly preaches the message that unless children are stopped from bullying
they will grow up to create more wars similar to the ones we learn in history
classes. Collins starts of the poem by stating that the teacher’s motive for
shielding them from the truth of the past is “to protect his students’
innocence” (1). He tells them that “the Ice Age was really just the Chilly Age,
a period of a million years when everyone had to wear sweaters (2-4). He also
says the Stone Age was “name after the long driveways of the time” (6). The
history teacher lies to his students and tells them that these harsh periods in
history were far from hard times. He understates these events in a very comical
way.
Collins then goes on the explain how he tells his students
that the Spanish Inquisition was “an outbreak of questions” (7), “the war of
roses took place in a garden (11) and the atomic bomb dropped on Japan was
merely one atom. He continues to shield the truth from his “innocent” students.
Yet we find out they are not so innocent because they torment “the weak and the
smart, messing up their hair and breaking their glasses” (14-16). These
students are bullies. This may be partly fostered by the fact that they do not
know of the violence that is prevalent in history. The History teacher teaches
that only good events happen, so they are unaware that bullying can lead to
anything bad. Yet, children who bully grow into children who create conflict
and start wars. These kids are following the patterns of history.
As the History teacher walks home he passes “flower beds and
white picket fences” (19). This is ironic because the History teacher walks
home in a perfect world, but history has told the tale that the world is far
from perfect. This irony emphasizes that we need to teach our children the
facts so that they will not repeat the history of violence and wars.
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